Good News

Soooooo a month or so ago I made a big announcement that I would be taking a break from my usual sarcastic parenting blog posts and focus in on the more endearing qualities of my children. I finished my ode to Titus (which pretty much wrote itself) and as you may have noticed since then, I have had a bit of a writing dry spell. One might presume that I was taking the "if you don't have anything kind to say about your little angels behavior, then don't say anything at all" approach- and well you wouldn't be completely wrong. JK. Umm, Sort of JK. :)

Actually this past month has just been a consuming mess of stomach bugs, Halloween carnivals, reading logs, taking on new patients at work, developmental optometry visits, a weekly Dave Ramsey class, spelling word practice, EEGs, and heath bars. I've got a crazy mad addiction to heath bars right now.

I have had a post brewing in my head for a while- it's my tribute to Judah. I'm struggling because I don't know how much to say and how much information should be protected. In the adoption world there is a popular train of thought that the adoptee's story is the child's story alone- with an emphasis on the child getting to decide when, what, and how much to share. I get that. I do. And though I am definitely more of a share everything with everyone and their neighbor kind of personality myself, I still get it.

The issue is, I feel like it's not just Judah's story, parts of it are, yes. But it's also our family's story and how our new normal is and will always be chaos. It's mine and Cory's story and what happened in our happily ever after when we took God seriously. And a huge part of it is my story. My story of faith and giving up comfort and control and my journey through motherhood. Because let me tell you, nothing NOTHING has rocked my identity as a mother more than my three little brown boys.

At this point, two years into it, I am still able to remember the "before we had them" life and the "after we had them" life. I hope it won't always be that way and I don't think it will. Probably the biggest difference is that in the before life I felt like we were a family and I was the mom, where the after part feels more like I'm a child care worker that is also a part time psychologist, reading tutor, urologist wannabe, ESL teacher, sensory processing disorder expert, family dynamics counselor, behavior specialist failure, and chef. Based on emotional neediness and amount of 1:1attention required, for sure at least 4 of the 6 should have been only children. Hello high maintenance.

You need to know that I would do it all over again in a heart beat. And may someday actually do it all over again for another child who needs a family. Crazier things have happened I guess. Jones party of 9 or more? I know, trust me, I stopped breathing for a second there too:)

But back to present day where I only have six children...

I was at work talking with a friend about how many people we know who had adopted or were starting the fundraising to adopt. She said adoption is like the "newest fad in christian circles that is also a really good thing." And I have to agree. It seems like adopting is the new WWJD bracelet, Purpose Driven Life, Passion of the Christ, and There's a Stirring combined. And you know what? Praise God for that. No seriously, not like in a churchy way, but really Thank You God for a little less loneliness.

The Bible defines the word gospel as good news. That's a struggle for me because I was born to loving godly parents. What I mean is I knew I was saved before I knew I needed saving.  Sometimes that makes it hard to realize it's a gift when it is just something you've always had. Like how my boys, Levi and Seth, do not appreciate their gorgeous red hair as much as my mouse brown headed self would. Of course I know in my head the depth of Jesus' sacrifice on the cross, but it often feels really far away. It's the same with trying to identify with the heroes of the bible. The great rescue of God's people out of slavery is a really cool story and makes an awesome Prince of Egypt sound track, but I can't relate to it. That wasn't me or even my grandparents or any remote kind of connection. It wasn't my story.

But it was God's story. It was my same God from today. My same God from two years ago who orchestrated my "before and after adoption" life. The story where He gave me the gifts that I didn't always have. And one of those is my Judah. I'm still mulling over my tribute to him and how much is ok to share. I definitely want to be a voice of honesty for all those jumping on the adoption fad. It is definitely hard. His attachment to me and my bond with him is a two steps forward and one step back struggle. But clearly he is a part of God's good news to me. And the story is not mine or his or ours. It's Gods. From Adam to Moses to David to Jesus, It really is all God's story. Stay tuned...