The new kid
We've got a new kid living at our house. Don't panic though, our parent to child ratio is still the totally manageable 2 to 8. :)
Our new guy is seven years old, has the most beautiful creamy dark skin, perfect curls, and crazy expressive eye brows. He's built like an athlete, slender and tall, with broad shoulders resting on top of a skinny waist with a sway back that's takes a dramatic curve out to what we affectionately call the perfect black boy booty.
He's a comedian who likes to dabble in robotics on the side.
He loves to wrestle, perform magic tricks, and hold his baby sister.
His name is Judah.
A few years back we had another boy named Judah living in our house. The old one was a quite a bit different though. He used to cry all the time with his mouth hanging open so that the drool could run down his chin and increase his pity factor for anyone looking. He pestered his brothers, gave up when things were hard, and peed his pants every day.
The old Judah had lots of big feelings but was never able to put them to words- they always just showed up in big behaviors that the rest of us got to deal with.
One of the biggest differences between the two Judah's is the way they tackle getting ready for school. Old Judah liked to play "I can't find my shoes" every morning, followed by the slowest walk to the van you've ever seen, followed by a tearful drop off. But our new Judah wakes up and dresses on his own. He gathers his folder (the one with the reading log that records the book he reads BY HIMSELF every night) typically he gets ready with extra time left to watch cartoons with the boys and often helps carry his little sister to the van.
New Judah uses words to show his feelings and can control his emotions to match the situation. He doesn't scream like his head fell off just because someone knocked into him, or do a drool cry when he's told he can't pick that costume because it's too expensive.
The coolest thing is that he can even use words for really hard feelings and explain how he would be so happy if his new little brother and sister get to stay in our family, but also would be really sad for them because he knows that means they won't get to be with their mom. He thinks they would miss her like he still misses his mom sometimes.
Not long ago new Judah and I had the best heart to heart, he confessed that he thought he had to leave Mom's house because he did so many bad things and that if he does too many bad things again he will have to leave our family too. I told him that's definitely not true and explained that I don't know how to teach him things are not true when he thinks they are.
"What if I told you this red shirt was red, but you believed it was green? How can I teach you it's red?"
"Well you could hold up a red shirt and a green shirt next to each other to see."
"What if you still believed that both shirts were green and argued that they were both green."
"Well then someone must have taught me the wrong thing when I was little."
Tears. Exactly.
Because of what he has been through my Judah was taught the wrong things early on in life. He was taught that he was not worthy, not wanted, and not enough. I told him that he needed to change the way his brain thinks because it believes things that aren't true.
He dug deeper and told me, "I don't know how to change the way my brain thinks when it is what does the thinking."
That boy is a genius.
And so we have plans to make a Truth Journal together. We are going to write, paint, draw and create pages and pages of things that are all true.
It's gonna start something like this....
Our new guy is seven years old, has the most beautiful creamy dark skin, perfect curls, and crazy expressive eye brows. He's built like an athlete, slender and tall, with broad shoulders resting on top of a skinny waist with a sway back that's takes a dramatic curve out to what we affectionately call the perfect black boy booty.
He's a comedian who likes to dabble in robotics on the side.
He loves to wrestle, perform magic tricks, and hold his baby sister.
His name is Judah.
A few years back we had another boy named Judah living in our house. The old one was a quite a bit different though. He used to cry all the time with his mouth hanging open so that the drool could run down his chin and increase his pity factor for anyone looking. He pestered his brothers, gave up when things were hard, and peed his pants every day.
The old Judah had lots of big feelings but was never able to put them to words- they always just showed up in big behaviors that the rest of us got to deal with.
One of the biggest differences between the two Judah's is the way they tackle getting ready for school. Old Judah liked to play "I can't find my shoes" every morning, followed by the slowest walk to the van you've ever seen, followed by a tearful drop off. But our new Judah wakes up and dresses on his own. He gathers his folder (the one with the reading log that records the book he reads BY HIMSELF every night) typically he gets ready with extra time left to watch cartoons with the boys and often helps carry his little sister to the van.
New Judah uses words to show his feelings and can control his emotions to match the situation. He doesn't scream like his head fell off just because someone knocked into him, or do a drool cry when he's told he can't pick that costume because it's too expensive.
The coolest thing is that he can even use words for really hard feelings and explain how he would be so happy if his new little brother and sister get to stay in our family, but also would be really sad for them because he knows that means they won't get to be with their mom. He thinks they would miss her like he still misses his mom sometimes.
Not long ago new Judah and I had the best heart to heart, he confessed that he thought he had to leave Mom's house because he did so many bad things and that if he does too many bad things again he will have to leave our family too. I told him that's definitely not true and explained that I don't know how to teach him things are not true when he thinks they are.
"What if I told you this red shirt was red, but you believed it was green? How can I teach you it's red?"
"Well you could hold up a red shirt and a green shirt next to each other to see."
"What if you still believed that both shirts were green and argued that they were both green."
"Well then someone must have taught me the wrong thing when I was little."
Tears. Exactly.
Because of what he has been through my Judah was taught the wrong things early on in life. He was taught that he was not worthy, not wanted, and not enough. I told him that he needed to change the way his brain thinks because it believes things that aren't true.
He dug deeper and told me, "I don't know how to change the way my brain thinks when it is what does the thinking."
That boy is a genius.
And so we have plans to make a Truth Journal together. We are going to write, paint, draw and create pages and pages of things that are all true.
This shirt is RED
This shirt is GREEN
This boy is named Judah.
And he is loved.
He is wanted.
He is enough and always has been.
He has the perfect little black boy booty.
And I can't imagine my life without him.
posted by Christina at
11:05 AM
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