To have and to hold

In a few weeks, we are loading up the troops to meet Cory's side of the family for a vacation. Hallelujah! Every one needs to get themselves a set of in-laws like I have. For the (almost) 14 years we've been married Mike and Barbi Jones have treated the family to so much fun. We've done Sea World San Antonio, Glamping (glam camping) in Oklahoma, Skiing in Colorado, Skiing in Virginia, and this summer will be our second time at a lake house. The trips are some of my favorite memories, and these memories would have never happened without my generous in-laws.

This year Cory's and my 14 year anniversary will happen while we are on our trip. We are not ones to make a big deal about both of our summer birthdays or anniversary. Nine years of youth ministry summers will tend to take the sentiment out of it.  We dream of going somewhere fabulous like Italy for our 20th, but I'm sure we'll have like 25 kids by then which might complicate finding a sitter. 

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about our marriage and how much we know now versus back then. Fourteen years ago we were standing hand in hand trying our best guess at what the future would hold while committing to do it all together. We used the standard vows "I take you to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part." Or something very similarly lame. 

I say lame because they are just generic and kinda pollyanna. Sure it mentions hardships like "sickness" and "poorer," but I promise you when we recited them we were both picturing "poorer" as the cliche newlywed phase were you eat ramen noodles and stay home Friday nights with a rented movie.  (Which actually sounds amazing right now. ) And when I said sickness I thought of  Cory with a winter cold and me donning an apron and dutifully making him chicken noodle soup with all my brand new pyrex dishes from our wedding shower. My poor neglected pyrex dishes. 

So if you will indulge me I've come up with some new wedding vows that are based a little more on reality. 

I, Christina, take you Cory to be my lawfully wedded husband.

I take you to have and to hold. But please no holding when I've been nursing a little one all night long and no touching when I've been pawed at all day by needy toddlers. But yes to holding even when I gain 4o pounds, or when I walk out of a hospital teary eyed because I just said goodbye to my grandpa, or when I'm scared out of my mind because of our proximity to the unpredictable Washington DC sniper. Please hold me when I finally graduate OT school -nine months pregnant and a two year old on my hip. And don't let go when I'm crying hysterically on your shoulder even when I  don't know why and we haven't just watched Shawshank Redemption.  

I take you for better or worse when we are convincing parents to trust us to take their teenagers to Mexico, when we are fighting about grad school or tattoos, when I leave you with six kids every weekend to help my Dad with his septic hip, when I can't be there for our own kids because my sister's life just imploded and she needs me, when we meet with a lawyer next to a trashcan and say "yes we will adopt," when you want to take a $12 an hour job to work with homeless people, when I hand you the stick with the two blue lines, or when I'm jealous because you made a woman on the airplane laugh. 

I take you for richer or poorer with our five year financial plan that didn't include a baby Levi nine months later. I take you wether we are living in a house infested by mold, rats, or roaches.  I take you in a Richmond apartment complex with a rap sheet of domestic murder, in a mansion on Stoneside Drive,  or in a two bedroom bungalow in the Heights. I take you when we have $80,000 in student loans and when loved ones give us $17,000 for a van.  

I take you in sickness and in health when Canaan is in the ER again, when Duke has worms, and when the doctor wants me to do a mammogram "just to be sure. " It's you I want to be with when I don't feel like Christina and start asking doctors about anti-depressants,  or when we have the scabies scare, or when we think your tumor is back. I take you when your mom can't stop shaking, when mine has MS, when three boys need circumcisions, and yes even when you get hand foot mouth.  

I take you from this day forward and would start all over again if I could. The years are going by too fast. I take you this day and every day. You are my favorite. 

Nobody loves you like...

I do.