Still a boy mom
It's fine. Everything is fine.
True, I do have a container of worms in my fridge being neighborly with our human food. It's taken up residence one door down from the package of hot dogs and just upstairs from some sort of leftover that hopefully involved a tomato product or that red color showing through the stained tupperware is more distressing than the invertebrates that are new to the hood. But it's fine.
I get that I have a girl now, but statistically speaking I am still a #boymom. I have come to mostly embrace it.
We welcomed "Bones" into the family last night, some sort of fancy lizard that eats mill worms. We haven't pursued a birth certificate yet because I'm sure his name will change a hundred times before it's official. Bones is replacing Princess, our gecko that died a few months back. Well, we assume she's dead. Technically she is missing, but we have called off the search party. It's still unclear how it all went down, but I have a suspicion it involves a certain 4 year old who sometimes struggles with explicit instructions. As a random example, explicit instructions would be something like: You are not allowed to get Princess out by yourself.
The boys still think Princess is alive in the house somewhere, because during her molting phase we once saw her eat her own skin. Yum. They keep assuring me she is sustaining herself in a very creepy but yet admirable self-canibalistic style. Props to her. I don't think I could do it.
Silas used his birthday money to purchase Bones. It was a compromise. Because when he got in the van last night to go shopping he told Cory,
"Daddy take me to Pet Smart so I can buy a snake." Ugh, false kid.
One of my favorite responses to my children's ridiculously entitled comments like the above is to sing comedian Tim Hawkin's line: "You must not know 'bout me, you must not know 'bout me."
It's a parody of Beyonce's song Irreplaceable which I assume is about a cheating boyfriend, or at least a cocky representation of the XY species that has done something to displease Queen B. The original lyrics say:
Sometimes I'll just shortcut the song and repeat the phrase "I can make another you in a minute" to a sassy child. To which Judah always replies, "No you can't..." because he's adopted and knows my DNA canoodling with Cory's DNA could never create the fantastic shade of brown that is his skin tone.
In our family culture we have a lot of traits that we value, things like kindness, obedience, respecting authority etc. But included in that list is the ability to deliver a perfectly timed witty line. It's right up there with all the big ones like don't you dare complain about the food mom makes and also just-say-no-to-drugs-AND-drama.
Humor has always been important to me. During my days of crushing on a new boy every week and discovering what I really wanted in a life partner I knew "the one" would for sure have these three things: He had to love God, be tall, and make me laugh. Basically, I was looking for my Dad. And I found a great replica.
Nobody can make me laugh like Cory does, and I love that my kids are starting to share in our sense of humor. It can make parenting easier, not easy, but easier.
When my kids are being disrespectful I can easily react with a big lecture, take a privilege away, or assign a chore. And sometimes I do those things because the situation calls for it. But what is even better is lifting the mood with a quick one-liner from a movie or TV show- because while I pride myself on my humor, let's be real, only 10% is original. The rest is a line borrowed from The Office or 30 Rock. And those count too.
Just try it. The next time your kids are fighting again in a one-upping brawl, just skip the angry response and exaggerated fears of how they will never get along and quip back with a borrowed line from Tina Fey in one of my favorite kids movies, Megamind.
The sarcasm especially lands when you are talking to two boys, which is almost always the case for me. Because as evidently clear by the contents of my fridge, I am still a #boymom.
True, I do have a container of worms in my fridge being neighborly with our human food. It's taken up residence one door down from the package of hot dogs and just upstairs from some sort of leftover that hopefully involved a tomato product or that red color showing through the stained tupperware is more distressing than the invertebrates that are new to the hood. But it's fine.
I get that I have a girl now, but statistically speaking I am still a #boymom. I have come to mostly embrace it.
We welcomed "Bones" into the family last night, some sort of fancy lizard that eats mill worms. We haven't pursued a birth certificate yet because I'm sure his name will change a hundred times before it's official. Bones is replacing Princess, our gecko that died a few months back. Well, we assume she's dead. Technically she is missing, but we have called off the search party. It's still unclear how it all went down, but I have a suspicion it involves a certain 4 year old who sometimes struggles with explicit instructions. As a random example, explicit instructions would be something like: You are not allowed to get Princess out by yourself.
The boys still think Princess is alive in the house somewhere, because during her molting phase we once saw her eat her own skin. Yum. They keep assuring me she is sustaining herself in a very creepy but yet admirable self-canibalistic style. Props to her. I don't think I could do it.
Silas used his birthday money to purchase Bones. It was a compromise. Because when he got in the van last night to go shopping he told Cory,
"Daddy take me to Pet Smart so I can buy a snake." Ugh, false kid.
One of my favorite responses to my children's ridiculously entitled comments like the above is to sing comedian Tim Hawkin's line: "You must not know 'bout me, you must not know 'bout me."
It's a parody of Beyonce's song Irreplaceable which I assume is about a cheating boyfriend, or at least a cocky representation of the XY species that has done something to displease Queen B. The original lyrics say:
You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter fact he'll be here in a minute
Tim's lines are way better though.
You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I can make another you in a minute
Did you roll your eyes at me? No you didn't.
Sometimes I'll just shortcut the song and repeat the phrase "I can make another you in a minute" to a sassy child. To which Judah always replies, "No you can't..." because he's adopted and knows my DNA canoodling with Cory's DNA could never create the fantastic shade of brown that is his skin tone.
In our family culture we have a lot of traits that we value, things like kindness, obedience, respecting authority etc. But included in that list is the ability to deliver a perfectly timed witty line. It's right up there with all the big ones like don't you dare complain about the food mom makes and also just-say-no-to-drugs-AND-drama.
Humor has always been important to me. During my days of crushing on a new boy every week and discovering what I really wanted in a life partner I knew "the one" would for sure have these three things: He had to love God, be tall, and make me laugh. Basically, I was looking for my Dad. And I found a great replica.
Nobody can make me laugh like Cory does, and I love that my kids are starting to share in our sense of humor. It can make parenting easier, not easy, but easier.
When my kids are being disrespectful I can easily react with a big lecture, take a privilege away, or assign a chore. And sometimes I do those things because the situation calls for it. But what is even better is lifting the mood with a quick one-liner from a movie or TV show- because while I pride myself on my humor, let's be real, only 10% is original. The rest is a line borrowed from The Office or 30 Rock. And those count too.
Just try it. The next time your kids are fighting again in a one-upping brawl, just skip the angry response and exaggerated fears of how they will never get along and quip back with a borrowed line from Tina Fey in one of my favorite kids movies, Megamind.
"Girls, girls you are both pretty."
The sarcasm especially lands when you are talking to two boys, which is almost always the case for me. Because as evidently clear by the contents of my fridge, I am still a #boymom.
posted by Christina at
10:15 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home